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The Future is Fading and the Past is on Hold

I guess I just feel like
I guess I just feel like
Nobody’s honest
Nobody’s true
Everyone’s lying
To make it on through
I guess I just feel like
I’m the same way, too

I guess I just feel like, john mayer

Why is that people we haven’t seen in a while ask us if we’re married or not? Several days ago, I got a message from one of my high school friends asking about my relationship. Well, we were not really close back in high school but we had kinda several occasions bumping to each other. Actually, I was not mad when she asked me that, although I expected her to simply ask, “How are you?” instead of, “Are you married?” I just felt kinda sad, hehe.

I cannot blame people for asking “the wrong questions”, especially if we are not really close. I can fully understand that most people around me are curious about my current life. When I say “current” it means my status, I’m married or not, having children or not. People are just like that. They sometimes care more about other people’s affairs instead of their own.

I guess I just feel like
The joke’s gettin’ old
The future is fading
And the past is on hold

But I know that I’m open
And I know that I’m free
And I’ll always let hope in
Wherever I’ll be
And if I go blind I’ll still find my way
I guess I just felt like
Giving up today


Just like John Mayer said in his lyric, the future is fading and the past is on hold. I cannot deny the fact that I’m still afraid of certain things in my life. I’m not really sure about my future. Can I make my life better in the future? Will my new dreams come true? Can I still have time to make the most of my life? When will I get married and so?

Today, I watched an anime movie, The Girl who Leapt through Time. There is this sentence: time waits for no one. We never know what will happen in our life. Even though we have such a super power to turn back time and “fix” the past, we cannot guarantee things will be better. Not everything in our life will go perfect and smooth like we want. That’s the reality we have to accept no matter what.

Every person has her/his own battle. Things keep changing. However, some situations may need to be on hold. So, other important aspects can adjust more easily.

Published inJOURNAL

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