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Fifteen, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got hundred years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
Sixty seven is gone
The sun is getting high
We’re moving on

100 years, five for fighting

100 Years by Five for Fighting is one of my all-time favorite songs. The first time I listened to that song was years ago. This song is a kind of my stress reliever to lift up my mood whenever I feel down. Making me wonder if I have a hundred years to live, how will it be like?

I do want to live a really long life. Creating masterpieces. Making big achievements. Having a beautiful and happy family. Being surrounded by people who really love me. Those are the things I imagine if I have a hundred years to live.

All ups and downs of life can be really stressful. So many things to do, so little time we have. Back then, I had big dreams. I was quite ambitious to make each dream come true. However, the reality hit me really hard. I failed several times. I had to pretend to be strong when my heart was actually shattered in pieces. I forced myself to move forward. I made wrong turns several times. At some point, I even felt like I was in a dead end feeling so hopeless.

“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.”

Confucius

Lately, I have been thinking of doing something new. I’m getting older and nothing I can do about it. I can never get younger. Time passes by so quickly. People are changing. Children are growing up. Adults are trying their best to survive. Problems come and go. Nothing is not the same anymore.

Leaving a boring job seems an easy thing to do. I realize that so much time wasted in doing things I don’t like anymore. There is one thing I want to try. Even I already have a picture of it. More than anything, I see new opportunities in that. But, I’m not confident yet to make that decision. Still figuring out each step I have to take to reach that goal and target.

My life is not perfect. I myself is not a perfect person. Many aspects of my life are not perfect. I still waste my time of doing unimportant things. Maybe it’s just me who is not trying good enough for everything. I can’t really define myself as a good person. I’m even afraid of myself when getting angry. Being good to myself is still a battle for me. Progressing to be a better person is a never ending process.

I realize I only have one life to live. I haven’t done much in my life. I still have many regrets. So many things I want to do in this life. I hope I can still make it. Maybe this is the time to make new plans for reachable dreams. Two days ago, I watched Homestay, a Thailand movie based on a novel Colorful written by Eto Mori. In one scene, Min talking to himself through a mirror and said, “You have to die, but not today.” The one who can decide whether to live or “to die” is ourselves. If I get a hundred years to live, I need to make sure that my life is meaningful. I hope we can get a blessed life and be someone who can make things better.